Contemplating

As you can tell by now, I haven't posted blog posts in a very long time. I suppose that I got so used to posting my life on social media, that I haven't taken the time to reflect, gather my thoughts and collect/submit them in long form writing.

That being said: I have been busy posting archived musings here, from various blogs I maintained over the years, but typically either the stuff that I find entertaining or funny to look back upon or things that are written to a half decent standard - I have ditched many dozens of posts that deal with quaffing, straight-up shitposting or tech so old that it's embarassing.

Some of the void in the timeline can be filled with technical posts from other blogs, that I plan to migrate from other blogs here eventually as well, banking on the fact that writing in one place might inspire a bit more proactivity than trying to post in three or four places would.

What's up with the blogging?

Over and above the fact that I feel the need for letting it all out somewhere public where no-one will read it, I have also been working on some personal projects and using this website as the testing/staging area for those before pushing to prod. In the coming months I'll also look into finding the time to start moving the (mostly) more technical posts or posts relating to web/software development from justCSS to here and sunset justCSS … that also involves migrating all my code snippets from codepen to GitHub gists.

What's up with design?

Well … I have been working (on and off) on creating my own design system for a number of years now, and finally took the time to start outputting actual results, rather than just starting from scratch every time the bug bites. Things are a little diconnected at the moment, but I decided that it's better to put out less than perfect than not putting out anything at all, just because it is incomplete - so … peace meal 🤷‍♂️

I am already using that design system and UI component library for this website as well as for makeitwood.co.za, and building/testing new components here as I need it elsewhere … so far, so good - we'll clean up later, right?

What's the deal with relationships?

Long story short - I got married, became a father, realised that I had been duped into a lot of things and that I am now merely a passenger on the back seat of the car that is my life and that said vehicle's brakes have failed and heading straight over a cliff … it's the kind of shit that really messes with your mental health. When you realise how much of what you trusted was just gaslighting and that you, your choices and your life are under the complete control of an ubernarcissist, you really start questioning if there is anything worth sticking around for ... I did everything short of checking out, hiding in my workshop and staring at a noose suspended from the rafters. I'm not sure what made me turn away - did I do it for my daughter or was I just too much of a coward to do what seemed like my only option out of this mess? I still don't have an answer, but I figure I would rather stick around and make a fight of it than die curious.

If oyu ever find yourself asking the question "should I get married", then my answer will be: "with upward of 60% of marriages failing, chances are yours will too and if you value your sanity, you won't want to endure all the human nastiness that ensues" … this shit really tests your character and if (like me) you're not the kind of person that dwindles in the grey areas between right & wrong or fair & unfair, you're going to end up with a choice between value or losing your values. Winning is not an option, so you may as well cut your losses or avoid the whole shitfest if you have the opportunity or the luxury of choice.

… and the woodworking?

Idle hands, they say 😐 … so, I have been doing woodworking for a number of years now - I have always enjoyed keeping my hands busy and mind occupied with creative work, so with the arrival of my daughter imminent, I started with building her bedroom furniture and things just sort of escalated from there. It's a hobby that challenges me, flexes the brain muscles, requires problem solving and delivers the type of ourput that is extremely satisfying when the work is done.

Honestly: if I didn' have a hobby, I would probably have had too much time on my hands for unhealthy activities that can only end in disaster.

Onwards and upward then?

So basically the plan is to consolidate all my sidelines and other blogs here and focus on challenging myself to write more, do more woodwork and rebuild from the ashes of what is left after the divorce is finalised.

There are lots that I am not comfortable with sharing yet; lots of details I don't want to go into as I'm still processing or planning, but if you would like to hear more or follow what I share, please drop a comment below and/or favorite the discussion to be notified of updates. If you would like to connect on social media - hit any of the icons above (top right of your screen) for your channel of choice.